Condolences in Judaism: Some Examples

Losing a loved one is a difficult time in anyone's life, during which spiritual beliefs hold great importance. Therefore, when wishing to express condolences to someone close, it is essential to recognize their customs and beliefs.

When to present condolences to a Jewish family?

In Jewish tradition, condolences are expressed during the Shiva, a seven-day period following the funeral. During this time, it is common to:

• stay at home;

• recite the Kaddish every evening;

• avoid any form of vanity (such as wearing new or ironed clothes, cutting hair, or shaving);

• abstain from marital relations.

• receive close ones for condolences

It is during this period that the mourning family can open up to others to find comfort and alleviate their sorrow.

In Judaism, visiting a mourning family to lend them support is called a "mitzvah," and is considered a biblical commandment. The purpose of the mitzvah is to bring a little light into the life of the bereaved person after the heavy ordeal they have endured.

It is recommended not to greet the bereaved (with "Hello," "Shalom," etc.). It is up to them to start the conversation. Therefore, it is possible that the members of the mourning family may ignore you. Don't take it as disrespect; it simply shows that the grief is still raw.

Condolences in Judaism: Some Examples

Expressions such as 'my condolences' (mishtatef betsa'arkha / betsa'arekh / betsa'arkhem, which means 'I share your pain') do exist, but they are not commonly used.

However, one of the most common phrases to say to those who are mourning is:

According to the customs of some communities, one can also add :

When one hears bad news, the established expression is ברוך דיין האמת - Baroukh Dayan HaEmet (Blessed be [God,] the Judge of Truth). This phrase is also used to greet people in mourning.